idk what I want anymore, my ex and I are being “friends” & that’s what I wanted & bc I suggested, bc I’ve recently realized that none of my exs were friends first.. (we can unpack another time)
but at this point, being friends feel so fucking awkward & me having to tell my ex to send funny memes & not triggering gut wrenching memes that reminds us of our relationship of the past which leaves either of us feeling a type of way..
I’ve lowkey avoided messaging in the chat all 2020 only for the simple fact this year have been fucking mind-blowing with just everything, from COVID19, BLM movement, from being unemployed and only living on a stimulus check for like 3/4months str8. Fuck. My mental state have been all over the place pretty much all summer. Now that it’s actually fall and things are finally starting to get back to normal for me.. back working. Of course my pay isn’t nearly what it was last year around this time, but it’s something..I just starting to feel like normal again..
I also voted for this 2020 election last night and I’m just hoping that Merica can come together but then again I live here.. so here’s to wishful thinking..
So on a positive note.. I just got approved for my first credit card of a balance of 500$ lol yea it’s not much, but it’s baby steps and I’m really proud of myself bc it’s my something that I’ve done on my own for the first time.. adulting at his finesses lmao
Oh also I’m kinda dating, but that’s hella new (6months or so) however I’m still single until further notice 😏
Anyways I think I’ve ranted enough, later tumblr . I’ll do better with keeping uou updated
